


She’s No Damsel

by fiveainley_ohmy



Category: Star Trek
Genre: F/M, Fairy Tales, Implied Spirk, Shitty Puns, True Love’s Kiss, away mission, crackish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-11 08:22:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12931338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveainley_ohmy/pseuds/fiveainley_ohmy
Summary: On a planet on fairy tales, only one hero can save the day.





	She’s No Damsel

“It is illogical,” said the Vulcan.

”I don’t think so, Mister Spock,” replied the Captain. “We had to come across a dragon in our travels at some point, right? Or at least, aliens that look like dragons.”

Spock conceded to that. “Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combination,” he recited. “It is rather fantasy-esque, but I suppose it is possible.”

”The same could be said about those ears of yours,” Kirk gently teased. Spock raised a dignified eyebrow at him, but his cheeks still turned a slightly more prominent shade of green.

”Well we have to get Monty back!” Uhura said impatiently. “What if he gets hurt? Or eaten?”

”You’re absolutely right, Lieutenant,” Kirk said. “Come on, we’ll follow the dragon to where it flew off with Scotty.”

* * *

After a short trek, the three reached a wide gaping maw of a cave opening. “My tricorder indicates that the ‘dragon’ is inside there, along with our Mister Scott,” Spock reported.

”Is he alive?” Uhura asked.

”I’m picking up life sign readings. He’s alive, but unconscious.”

”I think we might want to wait until we can beam down a security team,” Kirk remarked. He was standing over a slightly charred suit of armor. “It looks like the last man who went in there found himself in the hot seat.”

Spock closed his eyes, gathering his logic.

”We can’t afford to wait,” Uhura argued. “We have no idea how long it will be until we can contact the _Enterprise_. Something could happen to Mister Scott before then.”

”I understand, Lieutenant,” Kirk said quellingly. “But we can’t simply barge in that cavern. I doubt a phaser’s going to be enough to take down a dragon.”

”Maybe not,” Uhura said thoughtfully. She picked up the sword from the empty gauntlet. “But a sword might. I’m going in there after him.”

”Miss Uhura, don’t make me order you to stand down,” Kirk entreated.

”Captain, with all due respect...would you not go to any length to save Mister Spock?”

Kirk looked at his second officer and sighed. “I admit, I would.”

“Then you understand why I’m going in there,” said Uhura firmly, strapping a few pieces of armor on over her Starfleet uniform.

Kirk nodded, knowing he’d lost this one. “Well, if you insist, then Spock and I want to help you.”

Uhura smiled. “I’d appreciate that very much, sir.”

Sword gripped tightly in hand, Uhura led the charge into the cave, where the dragon lay sleeping. Across the room, in a bed of rocks, their chief engineer lay with his eyes closed. There was a visible cut in his arm.

”What’s the plan?” Kirk whispered to Uhura.

”I say we sneak over there, pick Monty up, and creep out of the cave with him before the dragon wakes up and finds us.”

”It is the smartest method I can perceive,” Spock agreed.

The trio nodded, and moved to creep over to their sleeping friend, but Kirk’s foot accidentally brushed a rock, kicking it several inches. The gentle knocking of stone echoed, stirring the dragon.

”Uh oh,” Kirk whispered.

One of the dragon’s blood red eyes popped open. It growled menacingly, stretching awake.

”Spock, if the Captain and I distract the dragon, you can sneak over there and get Monty. You’re the only one who’s strong enough to carry him on your own,” Uhura said urgently.

”It’s a good plan,” nodded Kirk eagerly. Somehow, a sizable rip had appeared in his uniform tunic from all the excitement.

Spock agreed as well and darted away with the speed and quiet agility of a cat.

The dragon roared, now fully awake. It spied Uhura and Kirk, and puffed up its chest.

”Look out!” Uhura cried. She and Kirk dove to the left, narrowly escaping a fiery blast from the dragon’s maw. They cowered behind a mound of rocks.

”If we can just keep the dragon distracted long enough for Spock to get away with Monty, we should be alright,” Uhura said.

”If we don’t get roasted alive first,” Kirk responded. The rip in his shirt had gotten bigger.

“Ack!” Uhura suddenly shrieked, picking up a rather large shield lying nearby; left over from another unfortunate knight’s peril. She managed to raise it just in time to block herself and Kirk from another breath of fire from the dragon which had stalked over to their hiding spot. As soon as the dragon ran out of breath, the man and the woman darted away.

Uhura spotted Spock out of the corner of her eyes hoisting Scotty into his strong alien arms. They just had to hold the dragon’s interest until he made it out...

”We’ve got to lull the dragon back to sleep somehow!” Uhura said.

”How?” Kirk had now removed his tattered shirt completely, and was waving it in the air like a yellow bullfighter’s cape. He danced about, keeping the dragon’s attention. Then he cried out in surprise as the dragon lit his shirt on fire. Jim dropped the burning rags and stared at them despondently as they turned to ash. “That’s the fifth one I’ve destroyed this week. Quartermaster Singh must be getting tired of replicating new ones for me.”

“ _Sing!_ That’s it, sir!” Uhura began orating sweet, lulling music, which echoed like a choir in the cave. The dragon paused, as if enchanted by the melodic singing. It blinked its red eyes sleepily.

”Don’t stop, Uhura!” Jim whispered encouragingly.

The dragon sluggishly turned its back to Spock, who was able to dart out of the cave with Scotty safely. The dragon nestled on the floor, laying its large head between its front claws.

Uhura smiled, still singing. She stepped forward slowly, and reached out to soothingly pet the beast’s snout. The dragon almost seem to purr with contentment. Its heavy eyelids drooped, getting harder and harder to stay open.

Uhura continued her song as she discreetly looked across to her commanding officer and nodded to him. Kirk grinned back and stole out of the cave.

With a final sigh, the dragon dropped off to sleep. All the same, Uhura kept singing, even as she was backing out of the cave. It was only until she was safely out that she sighed with relief and hurried to her friends.

Spock was bent over Scotty, who was lying on the grass. Kirk was standing nearby, grimacing. “What is it?” Uhura asked. “Is he going to be okay?”

Spock looked up at her. “He has been poisoned,” he informed her, straight to the point.

“Poisoned? No!” Uhura sank to her knees beside the chief engineer. “How?”

”Undoubtedly caused by the dragon’s claws,” Spock said. “There seems to be a substance infecting the wound; a poisonous secretion the dragon’s pores give off.”

The cut on Scotty’s arm had indeed turned a nasty shade of green. The Scotsman’s face had lost all its color, and there was a thin layer of sweat forming on his brow. Uhura tenderly mopped it away. “Can you stop it, Mister Spock?”

”I’m afraid not,” Spock said. “Even if I knew the composition of the poison, I have no remedies on hand. For once, I find myself wishing that the doctor was on hand with his bones and rattles.”

”Oh, Monty,” Uhura began to weep. She leant over him and gently kissed his lips.

”There must be something we can do,” Kirk urged his first officer.

”I will continue to try and establish contact with the ship,” Spock replied. “But until our communicators can get through-“

Uhura suddenly gasped. “Captain, Mister Spock! He’s waking up!”

Sure enough, the chief engineer was blinking awake. “Wha’ happened?” Scotty said blearily. “I musta passed out when that beastie made off with me!”

”Impossible,” Spock said, staring at his tricorder and raising his logical eyebrow. “The poison in Mister Scott’s system is disappearing.” And the green in the engineer’s wound was indeed fading away.

”Poison? What the hell’s been goin’ on?” Scotty asked.

”How did the poison get out of his system, Mr. Spock?” Uhura asked, cradling Scotty in her arms.

”As I said,” Spock replied. “It should be impossible. And yet, it has occurred.”

”I think I may know, Mr. Spock,” said Kirk with a knowing smile. He looked at Uhura. “It was your kiss, Lieutenant.”

”A kiss, sir?” Spock said, mystified.

”Think about it, Spock. This planet runs on fairy tale logic. Dragons and knights in shining armor. In fairy tales like Snow White and Sleeping Beauty, the damsel in distress—in that case, that would be our Mister Scott—was awoken from a deadly sleep by True Love’s Kiss from a brave knight. And Miss Uhura is definitely brave.”

”True Love’s Kiss, eh, darlin’?” Scotty grinned up at Uhura.

Uhura smiled back. “Well of course, sugar.”

”I am somewhat skeptical of this conclusion,” Spock said. “But I suppose it is the only conceivable one in this situation.”

Kirk smiled playfully at him. “Don’t worry. I’ll teach you more about True Love’s Kiss later.”

Spock rolled his eyes, yet his cheeks again turned a slightly darker shade of green.

Suddenly, their communicators chirped. Kirk grabbed his from his belt and flipped it open. “Kirk here.”

 _Martinez here, Captain_ , replied the ensign on the other end. _We’ve been trying to reach you for an hour. The planet puts off some sort of interference, but we finally configured a frequency that would get through_.

“Very good, Ensign. We need a beam up right away. A member of the away team’s suffered an injury.”

_Aye, sir. Just give us a moment to lock onto your signal._

Scotty again smiled up at Uhura. “Well, I certainly thank you for rescuing me from that big lizard. An’ you sure do look fetchin’ in that armor.”

”What can I say, Monty darling? Just another day,” Uhura shrugged, feigning modesty. She kissed him again.

Kirk grinned at the two of them. “And they all lived happily ever-“ His voice faded away as the transporter beam took them away.

 


End file.
